essentials…!!

I’ll tell you one thing: There are no thighs that look as good as the ones that are about to walk out your front door and never come back. This is doubly true if she’s a good woman because you’ll learn real quick how tough it is to find another. 

Men cannot live on mistresses alone, even though they’d like to. As much as you want to chase tail forever, if you find a good woman, consider the fact that they don’t come along often. Having a woman that you can trust is invaluable, especially after the world has boxed your ears for a few decades. Rest assured that I am no saint, but we should try to keep priorities straight at home. 

You’ll never have a shortage of problems in life, so I say forget about dating women stuck on the “crazy” setting. A friend of mine got stabbed in the leg with a fork by his mistress. Need I say more? Those chicks are night time fun, sure, but they are erratic and costly, and they distract you from business. Besides, I’m not sure adulthood is meant to be fun. Your 20s were meant to be fun. After that, the real world expects responsibility, and a good woman can help you find success. I’ll tell you what: In your 40s, the most fun in life comes after you’ve worked hard at something and can celebrate a victory, such as after you’ve pulled off a casino scam.

So what is a good woman? I know what you’re thinking: a deaf-mute Pamela Anderson. But jokes aside, here are some things to look for and a few to avoid.

GOOD QUALITIES

Loyal

The same rule that applies to capos and bosses can apply to your wife or girlfriend. Loyalty is a virtue, especially when it comes to pillow talk at bedtime.  Secrets get shared in every relationship. If she’s nosy, that’s a problem, but over the course of time — unless you’re sleeping with a real deadbolt — she’ll figure certain things out, and she of all people had better not be a rat. 

Supportive

One thing that’s very important is how she represents you when you’re apart. If she goes out with the girls and drags you down endlessly, that’s disaffection, brother. If she has a low opinion of you, it needs to be confined and then unwound. In the same way, you shouldn’t be dragging her name through the mud. If there’s a problem, fix it at home or tackle the issue constructively, but you don’t need her plaguing your reputation when plenty of cafones are willing to do it already. If she’s got to criticize you, it’s better to have it done to your face. 

There’s no way you’ll get anywhere in life if you have some broad nagging at you

 

 

Patient

If she nags you, this is a serious, deadly problem. Like the black mould that grows in bathrooms, it’s best to recognize this early. I’m certain that nagging shortens a man’s lifespan more than smoking does. And guys, if you want to make a splash in this world, you can’t be browbeaten into going to the ballet instead of playing poker. Have you ever heard a story about a gangster in the 1930s saying, “Yes dear, ok, fine, I’ll stop bootlegging”?   

Sensible

As much as we like mistresses to be dumb, wives shouldn’t be. You have a doormat on your stoop, but you shouldn’t file taxes with one. If you have a dumb woman, then you might end up with dumb kids, especially if you expect her to raise them while you’re out working. Now, keep in mind that I say “smart,” as in common sense, but you don’t want some pinko with a Ph.D. in penis envy. John Gotti‘s wife, Victoria, raised his kids and stayed married to him through all of his court cases — and she was a high-school dropout.  

Calm

Your confidence in your career will wax and wane with successes and failures. Taking risks means working toward success, and if you have a woman that supports you, it’s like leaving the house wearing a newly pressed shirt.  A woman who believes in your dreams will make reaching your goals that much better because she helped you get there. If Dillinger’s marriage hadn’t fallen apart, maybe he’d have become an American Family Insurance salesman instead of America’s Most Wanted. A nice sweetheart can talk sense into you when you’re angry with such simple lines as, “You look nice, baby, but please don’t sack that Wells Fargo.”

BAD QUALITIES

Party girl

We all love these types of girls — but to settle down with? Forget about it. If problems with drugs or alcohol are even remote questions, answer them by giving her a beer for the road and saying, “Hit the bricks, honey.” This will be a real issue if you have kids, and simply put, it’s unacceptable. This is not to suggest that a prude or a teetotaler is best, because it’s nice to have some fun with your woman. But if she’s tipping her glass by noon and it ain’t Sunday Communion, she’s got a problem, and therefore, so do you. “In vino veritas” means “there is truth in wine,” and in my business, that leads to another saying: “Loose lips sink ships.”

It ain’t all in the gazongas, boys

 

Stacked

I like stacks of money as much as I like stacked ladies. However, the bust ain’t as essential as honesty — not in the long haul. When you’re young, it’s hard to think beyond a woman’s body, but at some point after the honeymoon, you’ll be thinking more about spaghetti carbonara than Kama Sutra. After a 10-hour workday, her calzone may be more attractive than her body. And be careful about having dessert elsewhere because plenty of wise guys, like “Trigger Mike” Coppola, have betrayed their wives and been burned by the hellfire of a woman scorned. A friend of mine, a real sage, said: “It don’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.”

behind every great man…

In the end, a good woman is someone that you respect and like to have dinner with. If she’s not fun to eat with, then you have a lot of silent meals ahead of you.  Silence is no good, especially in a real man’s house. Remember: For it to last, she’s got to interest you for 50 years, so take one more bite of that calzone before you throw it away.

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What Women Want…

 

Oh it is the age old question  that all men want to know. You better get cozy if you are reading this because I am about to blow your mind with my wisdom…*winks* Obviously, I only speak from my opinions and experiences. I have to reiterate that in every blog so people don’t fly off the handle. I do believe I have a pretty good grasp on things and I do think with some of the things I might share in this blog that a lot of women will say things like, “Oh I’m not like that” or “No way” but I think if they truly evaluate themselves and are completely honest they will find a lot of what I am saying to be true. As all of my blogs are, this one will probably be all over the place.

That is what keeps them interesting right? I would like to say there is only one answer to this question but let’s face it, when it comes to women is there ever only one answer? Women want an assortment of things. Although people always state that men and women are so different I don’t think a lot of people truly understand that. Men are more simplistic creatures (again general statement) and they tend to accept things easily. Women think with their emotions…yes I said it women and you know it’s the truth (so you can take a deep breath too). We tend to evaluate a lot of situations and make them complex. I am not stating that this is a bad thing. When it comes to dating/men/relationships, women want a variety of things. What every woman truly wants is to feel wanted. No, not in a needy sense but in a sense in which a man shows her his attention and it is obvious he wants to be doing so. A woman wants respect. I don’t understand why relationships have become so complicated these days. It really should be easy but unfortunately communication is being lost and honesty is becoming a thing of the past. I am not saying that what a woman wants is more important than what a man minds. I am just lending my insights. I guess the easiest way is to speak directly for myself (because I think a lot of women would completely relate and would have the same thoughts).

 I hate nowadays how often I hear men complain about women being needy. Don’t get me wrong, I have witnessed it, (and probably have done it myself) some women are far too needy. But some men really have no idea what is going on. A woman is just really trying to show you that she wants your attention because she is into you and cares about you. If you are into her why would you not show her that? What is defined as needy anyways? Is she needy because she wants to plan a date with you?

Is she needy because she wants to spend time with you? Is she needy because she texts or calls you because she wants to talk to you? Call me stupid, but those things seem to be a compliment. Why is there a constant game of cat and mouse going on? Again, I realize some women go overboard but it comes down to it that women are usually trying to impress a guy. We want to show to you that we care.

 Ok so let me give you MY list of what I need in a relationship and then I will give you my list of wants-some might overlap…

 Needs:

 1) Someone extremely kind and caring

 2) Someone intelligent than can keep me intrigued and stimulated. I need someone that wants to learn with me-whether we learn something big or small every single day.

 3) Someone understanding-yes there will be times that I will be an emotional train-wreck and these will be the times I need that person more than any other time.

 4) Someone compassionate. I cannot have someone in my life that is selfish. It is important to learn from and help others in life.

 5) A great personality/great sense of humor. I absolutely love to laugh. Laughter can cure anything. If you can never make me laugh then we definitely aren’t a match.

Wants: You will see that there are a greater number of wants than needs. Needs are way more important though. Wants are wants but they are not necessary…they are just the icing on the cake.

 1) I want a man that is college educated-not a deal breaker but it does show incentive and initiative. If you aren’t college educated than I my hope is that you have a good job that you are dedicated to. Either way I want someone that works hard and always strives for better. Ok, maybe this should be a need.

2) I want a man with a strong sex drive-BUT is respectful. If you are trying to get in my pants right away and that is all you care about then you better keep on moving.

 3) I want an attractive man. This is a very general statement because being attractive is so broad. I have met many very average looking men that have become extremely good looking because they had great personalities. Understanding how to be confident as opposed to being cocky is totally sexy.

 4) I want a man that is artistic. This can be a man that draws, paints, writes or is involved in music. Someone that is in touch with their creative side.

 5) I want a man that has a strong relationship with his family. No not a mama’s boy. Just a man that cares very much for his family and holds them in high regard.

6) I want a man that is financially secure. Don’t get this twisted. I said secure not wealthy. I am not looking for a sugar daddy or someone to take care of me. Unfortunately many women are because they think money=happiness. They will learn quickly that is not the truth at all. I have known all along.

 7) I want a man that is going to want to go on different adventures and push me more and more to step outside of my comfort zone-someone that is going to initiate different fun things-this actually should be under needs more than wants but I am just going to leave it here for now.

 8) i want a man that has faith and his a believer in the existence of one God, someone that also helps me to be closer to God and we can both communicate with God on different levels.

I could go on and on about my needs and wants. We all have them and not every one of them are able to be fulfilled. I really hate that dating and relationships have become so complicated and so much work.

Yes, I understand there needs to be compromise sometimes and 2 people aren’t always going to agree but when 2 people are right there really shouldn’t be complications. Maybe I live in a dream world but I love this world because it makes me know myself and what I want.

 I have stated in a past blog how pathetic I think a majority of men are nowadays. Again, so I don’t insult any Sensitive Sally’s out there, I realize that women are far from perfect—but we are talking about what women want so zip your lip and keep reading. So to the men, I will just say it-GET OFF YOUR ASS AND TAKE INITIATIVE. That is what us women want. Show us that you care. We are sensitive and we need attention (yes some more than others). This is just the way we are built-stop calling us drama queens and just give us some attention. I think it is funny that so many men throw out the words drama queen or psycho with so many women (like it is just a normal way to describe us) and usually they are the ones with spoon in hand stirring the pot.

Just be honest with us. Make sure your words and your actions line up. If you have to play macho in front of your friends and this causes you to demean a woman in the process then you should know that you have no spine and your friends are treating you like a puppet. You are the one that looks like more of an ass-trust me on this.

So men, I cannot speak for all women because I do not know all women but it really is pretty easy. It may sound like a lot but it really is not. Be kind to a woman. Be respectful to her (don’t cheat on a woman because you can’t think with anything but your penis). Be honest. We are all grown-ups. It is time to let this whole game go. Feelings are going to get hurt regardless at some point, why add fuel to the fire by stirring up a bunch of lies? Take ownership when needed. Voice what is bothering you (sometimes we really have no idea). It all comes down to communication and that is something that is really lacking these days. I wish we could go back to a time when love and relationships were truly valued. When relationships didn’t just consist of sending text messages to each other all day. When I am with someone I want to hear their voice over the phone and listen to them tell me about their day. I am full of never-ending questions. That is not me being nosy or “annoying” that is me wanting to get to know you more and more everyday. If you find that annoying then there is a good chance you and I will not be taking any trips down any aisles. What woman want is really not as big of a mystery as people make it out to be. If you have specific questions to throw my way please do so, you know you will get an honest answer from me and if you think I am all wrong here then I would love to hear your side.

M’ade writes from Lagos. Visit her blog  here http://madekreations.wordpress.com/

She ain’t for Keeps…

Contrary to the wisdom of pop songs, love is not enough to make a marriage work.

If you’re thinking of asking your girlfriend to become your wife, there are a few things to consider first. Deciding if you’re ready to make the commitment to marriage is only half the battle. Now you must figure out if the woman in your life is the right one to devote yourself to until death do you part. It’s a complex situation, but there are a few warning signs that your girlfriend is not marriage material. Here’s some of the most obvious hints that she’ll make a bad wife.

 

She’s flighty

A woman who has trouble committing to a job, a friendship or even a hairstyle might not be the best person to swear your undying loyalty to. If she has tried numerous short-lived career paths or is constantly making new friends and dropping the old ones, these may be indications that she’s not the kind of girl who’s in it for the long haul. Settling down simply may not be in the cards for someone so free-spirited and fickle.

Even if she sticks around, consider the possibility that her ever-changing lifestyle could derail your own life plan as well. Getting married means combining your lives in nearly every sense. Give some serious thought as to whether or not she will be a good influence on your future.

 

She’s jealous

If your girlfriend is jealous of every girl who comes near you, putting a ring on her finger is not going to make her more secure. Everyone gets jealous sometimes, but if you find yourself constantly having to reassure her that the other women in your life are not a threat to her, this could spell doom for a long-term commitment. A good wife is not possessive or irrational. As long as you’re not giving her any reason to be suspicious, she should be able to keep the green-eyed monster in check.

Her sex drive does not match yours

Sex is an important part of any relationship, and the way you relate to each other physically has a big influence on whether you stay together after you say “I do.” One sign that she might make a bad wife is if her sex drive differs wildly from yours. Whether it’s much higher or much lower than your own, her libido will have a huge effect on your happiness as a married couple. Sex-drive issues can be the result of medical or psychological problems, so problems might come and go, but either way, it’s best to work this out before you walk down the aisle.

 

She does not want your friends around

A girl who disapproves of you hanging out with your friends will become a wife who does not want you to have your own life outside of the marriage. Even if she’s not that fond of your buddies, she shouldn’t stand in the way of you spending time with them on your own. Provided your friends are not convincing you to rob banks or some other objectionable behaviour, she should trust you to make your own decisions about your friends. If she tries to restrict that now, it’ll only get worse after you say your vows.

 

She tries to change you

If your girlfriend is constantly nitpicking about your appearance, your behaviour, your personality, your career path, your friends, and your habits, she is essentially telling you that you’re not good enough for her. Everyone can make improvements in their lives, and a good partner should help you become a better man, but if she’s forever on your case about changing one thing or another, she’s going to make a bad wife.

You also have to decide whether or not the things she’s asking you to change are reasonable or out of the question. Can you give up your vision of a loft down town for her desire for a house in the suburbs? What if you have always wanted to be a father and she is dead-set against having children? Ask yourself how much you’re willing to give up to please her.

 

Contrary to the wisdom of pop songs, love is not enough to make a marriage work. Getting married means sharing your entire life with another person, so you want to make absolutely sure that she is someone you’ll be happy spending time with day in and day out. Keep an eye out for these warning signs that she will make a bad wife and avoid committing to the wrong woman.