The Players’ Rules on….cheating!

As it has been the topic of much debate and discussion lately – thanks in part to the recent celebrity cheating sagas surrounding the likes of Rita “whorah”, Jesse James, Tiger Woods and David Letterman – it’s time to clarify the Player’s position on cheating.


 Cheating is, unfortunately, a part of dating and relationships, but there are boundaries that respectful and honourable men simply don’t cross. Nobody is immune to the cheating impulse; when the current relationship’s heat begins to fade, “the grass is always greener” feeling can strike us hard.


 Although the Player continually labours beneath a variety of false stereotypes and accusations, one of the most irritating is the belief that the successful ladies’ man has no morals (i.e., he considers cheating as “part of the game”).

First and foremost,  the Player never cheats, nor will he attempt to pick up a girl who wishes to cheat. It’s not only counterproductive in the long run, but it also flies directly in the face of everything the Player stands for.


 The Player adores women; cheating and adoration are mutually exclusive.


Here are some Player rules on cheating.

Rule 1 on cheating.


Cheating devalues everything

Cheating doesn’t actually enhance anything. The common myth is that danger is titillating and can ramp up the passion of taboo encounters, but there’s a problem with this belief: “danger” is fleeting and such a sensation can rapidly shift, as foreboding tension can follow hot on the heels of heightened passion.


Furthermore, as the very concept of cheating is rooted in something outside the physical union in question, such couplings are devoid of any real feeling or emotion. Those who have cheated will always try to say – often in their own vain defense – that it was “mechanical,” that they were just “going through the motions.” Well, of course: Cheating is about somebody else. There’s no real challenge or satisfaction in it and, lest we forget, the Player is in this for ultimate satisfaction.

Rule 2 on cheating


Cheating is for the weak and lazy

Honestly, it doesn’t take that much in the way of mental fortitude to resist temptation. Those who claim it was “irresistible” are desperately attempting to mask their weakness and it’s downright pathetic. Those who cheat do so for a variety of reasons, certainly, but none of them can be considered appealing character traits. They cheat because they can’t face an ugly breakup battle with their current partner (which is absurd, as cheating will inevitably lead to an even uglier battle), they cheat because they’re too lazy to end things, they cheat because they’re easily lured by the siren’s call. The Player is familiar with the urges and doesn’t allow them to affect his behaviour. We’ve already talked about how other people perceive cheaters;  the ladies’ man is aware how cheating can affect his own self-image and self-esteem.

The Player has two more rules on cheating


Rule 3 on cheating


Cheating is a reputation-killer

These days, a man’s reputation may not mean as much as it did in days long past, but for someone who is often at the mercy of word-of-mouth, it’s essential. And because it can change in a split second, it requires constant upkeep and maintenance. Cheating is the single fastest way to tear down an entire body of work; one moment of weakness can erase years of faithfulness produced by the most stalwart Player professional. There are plenty of other ways a man can damage his reputation in the eyes of the ladies, but nothing is more devastating than cheating. Even if it’s only a rumour, this spark can set off a wildfire that rages high and far. It’s almost impossible to extinguish, and although it may die out eventually, the destruction is significant and recovery can take a very long time. A reputation is a terrible thing to waste on something so… unfulfilling.

Rule 4 on cheating


A true Player doesn’t have to cheat

In truth, the real Player never has to cheat. If he’s unhappy with his current woman, he has the resolve to simply make a clean break and pursue another target. He does this honestly, carefully and tactfully. On top of which, we’ve already solidified the fact that nailing a chick who wishes to cheat takes no real skill, and a Player aspires to bigger and better things. Throughout the course of a Player’s excursions, he will frequently consider and dismiss opportunities that aren’t actually “opportunities” at all; they’re partially obscured traps that can lead to some nasty accidents. The learned pickup artist quickly recognizes such traps, steps deftly around them and pushes forward to achieve more satisfying sexual experiences via real effort. In short, he knows exactly what he wants, and he knows cheating won’t deliver his true desires.


Honesty is the best policy

Many women fall victim to the falsehood that a Player exists only to serve his own desires and as a direct result, he leaves a trail of destroyed hearts and bad feelings in his wake. That’s the description of a womanizing creep, so get your definitions straight. The Player doesn’t cheat, typically doesn’t spend time with cheaters, and perhaps above all else, he doesn’t have to cheat because he’s honest – and a nice guy.


Life As I See It… Episode 2

What has come over me?

Over the past weeks I have taken up a crazy habit – not being able to say no to alcohol. This is different, it seems strange but yes, every evening I’m drinking stuff: bourbon, vodka ( in fact, the number of brands got me thinking I could possibly begin to produce some of this shit….lol), champagne, beer…anything that contains alcohol including chocolate…na my own bad pass ni?

Today was different. Woke up, had breakfast and started drinking. Shared bottles of Red label (one of Jonnie Walker’s favourite) with friends…was tipsy as early as 11am while watching Savages and I got thinking. From a woman’s point of view, Savages tells the story of a girl and her two lovers (and she claims to love them equally oh…kosi wahala) and guess how she differentiates them….Sex! One makes love to her and the other fucks the shit outta her. In her own words about the latter, she says “I have orgasms and he has War-gasms”. Also about how far they went to get her back after she was kidnapped. Don’t ask about my point of view…a man’s always gonna see it some other way.

Hey…get outta Genesis Deluxe Cinemas and come back to my world joooooor…..

I got thinking about this phase I happen to be in now and fortunately for me I had more alcohol to keep the thoughts flowing. That phase where you begin to wonder where life’s headed and how to steer life in the right direction. That phase where you feel you can’t afford to make any more mistakes. What things I have done, what things I shouldn’t have done, what things I still want to do and what things I wouldn’t want to do. Places I should be and places I should never have been to. People I cherish and I people I dread. Relationships I’ve been in and why they all failed…then one tiny wire snapped in the front hemisphere of this tiny brain. Yes, I remembered the only girl I have ever loved…jeeez! Unfortunately…a surge of adrenaline. Heart started beating like crazy with the thought of someone chewing her fucking hole and having war-gasms, making her moan like crazy – as if his cock is super charged and vibrates like the engine of a maserati…na him bad pass?

I met this girl a while ago, it’s close to 7 years. Dated her for about 2 years and since then I haven’t had any meaningful relationship (6months here, 2months there etc). Moved on after the break-up but kept an ear on the ground to know how she was doing…yes I “loved” her. Somewhat later, after she moved to where I was, I assumed we could start something. I was mistaken. Time like they say flies and if you really don’t keep tabs, you’d be lost. They say in 5years, a kid can grow up and even dance azonto excellently…alas she’s grown.

We got talking again recently and I decided to it a shot again! I am as dumb as can be…( well, just up to about last week and just when it comes to relationships). I basically sacrificed my dignity and screwed myself from behind, telling her how much I loved and cherished her. Eventually got her to agree to meet with me so we could spend time together, talk, possibly share a drink et all and guess what…

She couldn’t spend 30minutes with me.

How silly that was. To think that I stood a chance. Twice in 6 months I realised that I have not even been able to get a lady to value me to say the least…

Just then it occurred to me how much I needed to get laid…LMAO

When you get to think about all the kinda stuff you’ve been put through in the course of having relationships, one might wonder if it’s worth it eventually. After all, nothing is guaranteed – even love. Maximise the time you have with loved ones – family and friends (…including those with benefits) but don’t be stupid. Some things aren’t worth it…and so are some people.

She’s outta my life for good…and she ain’t even gonna be in my thoughts no more!

Thank God It’s Thursday…going out to get some more liquor, chillax and have fun!

That’s life…live it to the fullest!

Lost Habits….

I hate to reveal my age here, and I especially hate reflecting on the past — citing how things “used to be.” It’s a common theme with old stunads who sip their brandy at the bar alone, and I don’t intend to become one of them. However, as far as men have come over the years, there are some habits we’ve lost along the way. I’m not talking about holding the door open for some lady; as far as I’m concerned, she can push or pull her own way through any opening she likes. I’m talking about the little habits that made us men. Not fighting, not womanising — I’m wise enough to know these misconceptions of “manliness.” Here’s a list of what I’m talking about.  

Drinking like a man

Too many men these days drink like the cast of Sex and the City. A spritz of this and a spritz of that, you might as well get your fix at Xovar Lounge. Going to the bar used to mean getting a stiff drink and letting the alcohol linger — it was a single malt Scotch, an Irish whisky or bourbon. You knew what you drank, and you knew the only kicker was a splash of soda or a couple cubes of ice. When you were at the office, you didn’t complain over a cup of coffee, you pulled the bottle of the Glenlivet from under the desk. It was never for the sake of getting drunk, but because you knew the day would be so much better after those few sips.  

Getting a shave

With every added blade to a Gillette razor, men are finding a professional shave less and less necessary. The well-groomed elite will still find a straight-blade salon, but the trend doesn’t have the reach it used to. Professional shaves weren’t reserved for the aristocratic, and it wasn’t because you couldn’t do it yourself. It was for the experience of sitting in the chair, busting balls and turning a mundane habitual act into an enjoyable experience. Now a guy is content with a Gillette and a can of cold Barbasol — stunad.

Laying brick

I don’t literally mean laying brick. I don’t want some stunad ditching his desk job to go work at a construction site. But I think it’s pretty clear that men have lost their handiness, especially when the first step to fix a leaky faucet is to call the plumber. It’s important to be wrench-savvy and to occasionally take the Philips head into your own hands. Back in the day, it didn’t matter if you were a stockbroker, surgeon or wise guy; on Sunday afternoons, you were the handyman.

There are a few more habits men have lost and need to get back pronto


Men’s night

A lot of kids these days talk about having a “guy’s night out.” The guys I used to hang with wouldn’t have considered Jager bombs and keg stands suitable for their weekly affair. What happened to booking a reservation for 10 at the Marquee with a few bottles of wine and a few tons of porterhouse? It’s nice to pencil in one day a week to have a classy dinner with the crew. Back then men would tell the women “we’d be back”, and button up the suit. You’d start with drinks, proceed to dinner and end where ever the night took you.  

OK, fight — but like a man

I know I said no fighting, but throwing a right jab is often inevitable. When that time comes, and the challenge has been laid on the table, fight like a man. Too many “men” at the bar don’t know the meaning of a fight; they only know six guys pouncing a helpless dude in dark alley. But before these street mauling became popular, it was a rite of passage to take part in a dignified physical altercation: one man against one man, and over something worth fighting for. Some guys always won, some guys always lost, but no one expected anything less than a fair bout.

You can try to dismiss my nostalgia, making the case that I’m a schlub trying to impose the habits of an older generation. But trust me, they are worth resurrecting. With all the nonsense going on, and every other facet of a man’s life morphing, it’s nice to keep some of the time-honoured traditions alive. Sitting down to a shave, grabbing a stiff drink, a night out on the town; they’ve been man’s pastimes for ages. But maybe you’d rather stick to the new ways, sipping a Cosmopolitan as the painter does the living room for you…